There’s an indescribable amount of pain that comes from being cast aside by the ones to whom you’ve sworn loyalty.
The annual Student Recognition ceremony, presented by USC Student Affairs is a long-standing tradition at the University of Southern California. This acknowledgement celebrates the extraordinary efforts of graduating students whose contributions have significantly enriched the quality of the USC campus. By exemplifying Trojan ideals, these students surpass expectations through their leadership, volunteerism and community engagement. While their realms of influence are diverse, they all share a commitment to bettering their campus, the city and the world.
By honoring these students USC continues to celebrate and showcase the values of leadership, service and engagement.
Four years ago, my time at James Caldwell High School came to a close. By my senior year, I had developed an incredibly strong passion for service to my community – whether it be the broader local community in which I lived or the smaller classroom community in which I led. By the time I graduated, I was an active member in 13 organizations and held an appointed or election position in over half of them.
I carried with me that ambition to help others and that ability to live a crazy schedule as I entered USC and became a Trojan. It’s been four years of running around, volunteering in a heartbeat, and mentoring my peers. These four years translated to an effective eleven semesters devoted to not one, not two, but three branches of USC’s Division of Student Affairs, Student Engagement.
Three semesters were spent as an Editor for Student Publications, another four as an Executive Coordinator for Residential Education, and a final four as a Director within Campus Activities. An additional effective seventeen semesters were spent in each of these branches focused on making an impact, in whatever little way I could. Manuals and processes were developed for positions I was given little to no training from my predecessors, and they have been and will be used by generations of my successors. Entire marketing packages were re-developed as organizations transformed over time, and I ran ahead of the wave of change that pushed them along. I can see the impact that I have had, and I know my peers and advisors appreciate what I’ve done, but it says something when their superiors look down and say, “No. It’s not worth anything.”
Four years ago, my parents said nothing as I accepted honors from my high school, but I saw the pride hidden behind their guise and in their chatter in a language they thought I couldn’t comprehend. A year after that, as my older sister prepared to graduate from college and my parents sat with me at their first ever college commencement, my parents nudged me with the notion that I should graduate from college with high honors.
But they didn’t know, and still don’t, that by that point my chances were moot. Because I had chosen to do as I had been advised, to challenge myself and pursue a major where I could see myself making a greater impact, I was already disqualified from so many academic honors. And I’d gladly implore you to look at the average GPA of a student in my study and tell me how close those are to the standard of being less than stellar.
And so at that moment I developed a burden I’ve carried ever since that day. A burden I hoped my parents could overlook if I could show them that my work outside of the classroom was something truly meaningful to others and not just myself, in my head. That where I had learned real world skills that make me more skillful, ambitious, courageous, faithful, and scholarly – the five traits of a Trojan – was the right thing to do.
A year ago, I was approached by a member of Student Affairs to help photograph the momentous ceremony that was the 2015 USC Student Recognition Ceremony. By that point I’d already developed points of contact that would allow me to photograph events and individuals on behalf of Student Affairs and USC University Communications (in fact, I photographed a portrait of Dr. Ainsley Carry, Provost of USC Student Affairs, the first semester he entered USC).
The ceremony was bittersweet. For one, I saw the very graduates who had mentored me to where I was that day become recognized for their outstanding service in front of their friends, faculty, and family. But for another, I realized I likely would not be in their positions the following year as I graduated due to my GPA wavering below the standard 3.0 GPA. But to my surprise, recipients had told me there was no strict GPA requirement, for the Order of Troy at the very least, that you were simply nominated by staff and faculty who deemed you worthy and for the most part, you were accepted. And so my heart hung higher, but no lower hung my drive to again reach that 3.0 GPA.
I was never paid for my services that day, as I was promised, and these photos had found their way to the University’s Flickr, but I said nothing more as a token of loyalty and service to the branch to which I had sworn allegiance even when my colleague and peers cursed it to the ground.
Even this Thursday, as my friends and fellow Class of 2016 graduates spit on us for trying to organize a safer alternative to a university senior tradition, I will be volunteering, working, and supporting a cause Student Affairs had directed at a body of leaders who were willing to sacrifice their time and efforts.
But this year, the awards were altered. Faculty and staff were no longer required to take additional steps after nominating students. It fell on the nominees to fill out a simple form, which asked a standard set of questions and posed a simple prompt: “Please copy and paste your Achievements in the area provided below.” There were no further instructions.
I had no idea what to copy and paste – this was an award coming from Student Affairs so surely all they cared about was my service to the division, not my year as a Course Producer for a computer science course, not my summer teaching kids how to code, not my startup internship where I had been bumped from a web developer to director of operations.
My GPA I had not been too worried about. I had raised it plenty from where it once stood because of a single class I took while still trying find my major. I could have taken the class through freshman forgiveness to replace the dismal grade this final semester, but I opted to take classes that would have use to me after I graduate and to take on yet another role in Student Affairs. Of course, I understand and appreciate the need to have a standard by which you can say there needs to be a balance of academics and service. But the only GPA minimum Student Affairs enforces is a 2.5 GPA for its student leaders, which I had never fallen near.
After some consultation, I’ve been told a number of explanations. One advisor was told it was indeed my academics which hurt my application. A friend had heard from up top that indeed “excellence in scholarship” had been emphasized this year, but still another graduate with a GPA lower than mine had a more stellar application and would be receiving an award.
My friends had copied and pasted their resume, with bullets of summaries. I looked at my own resume and had to ask myself which one – the one that got me a job in the tech industry or the one that emphasized my service?
And so my application that was the result of preconceptions, confusion, and lack of time in juggling a 15-hour class schedule and 51-hour work week, was what broke me.
This was one of the last things I had to look forward to outside of the curtain of pomp and circumstance that will be the 13th of May. My sole two weeks of summer vacation ever remaining have been forfeited in my attempts to save my parents money as I house them here on the opposite coast from home as my sister graduates from graduate school in San Francisco and I start work two months earlier than most others in an effort to keep saving that money.
In the end, there is nothing to be done. Should something compel them to appeal their decision, it would be an achievement only because I complained enough. I’m certain at least one or two pairs of eyes who have seen my messages or read this post feel I’m merely being egotistical and sour.
I hold no regrets to the last four years of memories, experiences, and friends I gained, and I can only praise my colleagues who will be receiving this award in two weeks for their ability to uphold all Trojan traits to the highest standards.
But I nod to USC Student Affairs, for breaking the backbone and the heart of a loyal servant, at the very end of his tenure. All I ask is that you review your application process and seek to clarify its instructions. Maybe I’m alone in how I feel – but maybe no one will next year.
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As a note, Mona Cravens, the director to the department I’ve been most faithful – Student Publications – has established a new award within the department after seeing me in my position, after other graduates in years before me had found themselves in the same position. I am honored, forever grateful to Mona and the profound impact and appreciation she shows to her students and has shown to me the first month I served for her department.